Week 1 – Done!!

29 September 2017

So the moving to Sicily blog may have to be renamed to a 2 week working holiday in Sicily. Seems the paperwork to start my job has been sent to the Pompeii office.

Apart from the probability of returning to the UK quicker than we thought…the first week has gone pretty well.

Met some great people at work of various nationalities, I actually forget which country I’m in. I suspect by the time I move back to the UK I will be fluent in some new language made up of Polish Italian German Romanian with some cockernye rhymying thrown in.

Lee has settled in well although I think staying at home with the kids will soon enough ensure she will be finding a school for Ronnie an Reggie. They also keep grassing mummy up. Apparently she jumped over the level crossing this morning, dukes of hazard style. Kids told me they can’t cope with mummy anymore and need to move out.

I have no idea if Lee has bought some special anti persperant but I keep getting the odd whiff
from her armpits. Reminds me of my Birthday for some reason.

Fancied a glass of wine. FFS no cork screw. Put it in a shoe and banged against the wall. Tried several times. Nothing. Use the front door key. Nope. We seem to have been given about 45 keys. No idea what they are for. Decide to give up with the key method. Knife method works. the cork is disentgrated into the bottle. Spend the rest of the evening digging out bits of cork from my teeth.

Get home from work. No phone. No keys. No intercom. Decide to jump over the fence and wade through the mud bath to my house. Introduce myself to the neghbour as Dave. He’s confused as to how I know his name. I’m guessing he thinks I’m stalking him. Especially when he finds out I live in the next street over from him, back in the UK. Seems all the Dave’s from Reading have been recruited to Sicily.

Did I tell you about the wonderful Sicillian weather. To make us Brits welcome and feel at home it’s decided to piss down non stop all week. More rain this week than the previous 9 months put together. Work says if the weather doesn’t improve by the weekend all our contracts are cancelled.

I’m guessing the locals must have some incredible metabolism to burn off 9000 calories a day. Think I’ve doubled my weight this week. Went out on works dinner do. Think they tried to kill me by force feeding. Had 45 courses. Skipped desert. Drunk about 4 litres of wine. I suspect it’s watered down as I still manage to get out of the restaurant with dignity intact though I struggle to fit through the door due to my new 9 month pregnancy look.

Visited an Italian gym. I’m sure Rocky is in there some where. They could do with some of that deodorant Lee has got.

Went out for a meal Friday in Motta. Great restaurant and great people. He says Lee sounds like more of a Londoner than me. I think it’s because I’ve developed the obligatory foreign accent whilst speaking English. I wouda likea the pastaa per favore me ‘old china. Cheers mate.

Friday was great at work. Went for a tour that I wasn’t allowed on so sat in the sun for an hour. Got back to the office just in time for a special German event. Free beer and sausages 🙂 Finished at 2.30. Waiting for the wife. Eventually turns up at 4.30. I’ve melted in the sun but at least I’ve lost some weight. I don’t think Lee recognises me when she turns up.

Went to Taormina. Decided to drive past all the car parks. Have to drive for about another 3hrs before I can turn around. Lee doesn’t like the drop her side. Thinking about putting the Italian Job theme tune on but I think that will drive Lee over the edge, literally. Eventually park in the very first car park we passed. Beautiful place, went to an amphitheatre. Seems like the locals don’t like to give you change. Tickets cost 20 euros so pass over a 50. She says 20. Yes, yes I know. how about you give me 30 change? I have to get the wallet out to prove the wife has spent all the remaining cash. She was just about to give in and Lee joins in and pays with the credit card. Boys are thirsty and Lee picks the most expensive cafe in the whole of Europe. For the price of the cafe latte I would have thought I could of at least got a glass with a handle. Think they use the volcano to heat the coffee, wait another two hours before I can drink it, besides need to get my money’s worth out of this lot, I’m here for the night. Thought the Kids drinks were going to be some rare Italian recipe for the price but just turns out to be a Coke and Fanta.

Go shopping on the way home. Supermarket seems just like at home. Except just come across aisle full of tyres on the shelves. How convenient forgot I needed some 205’s for the mini. Also buy some glue for our bumper that is now flapping more than previously since I’ve pushed the Yaris to supersonic speeds of 65kph.

That’s about it for now until we have to return the car. I’ll let Lee tell you if her DIY saves us from having to take out my credit cards to pay the excess.



Self service checkouts rule!!

Waiting for Dave Large to have a free minute to blog is going to be like watching paint dry. After his first attempt he clearly needs to try again.

Last night he had his first night out with work which I’ll let him tell you about. Turns out though there was unlimited wine. Where was my invite I say!!!

All I will say is although he had 8 glasses of wine he believed he was as sober as a judge. I believed otherwise especially after asking him if he fancied some loving. His response…. “cloooouuulllddd du”. I translated this as could do. But what seemed to follow was him being transformed into Fuzzy bear growling profusely (snoring) followed by some other unearthly noise as he struggled to breathe through the wine mist that was encasing him. Miss Piggy here had to stamp her feet a couple of times.

Moving swiftly on…

I was a bit premature in posting last time. As you’ll remember I had to go to the store again to get some bits. Well needless to say it didn’t go too well. Or rather it didn’t go too well at the check out yet again.

You see there was an elder gentleman on the check out and it seems that they have a general aversion to us non Italian speaking persons. I’m sure this doesn’t apply to all elder Sicilian gentlemen before any one jumps on my case but it appears to be so for the ones I’ve had dealings with.

First came the chatting at speed in my direction. They clearly use this as the probing method to try and figure out what language their victim doesn’t speak. Then follows more chatter this time sped up even more. Unfortunately for him though I was able to catch a few of the words falling out his mouth and was able respond. “Actually I’m from England” you see aside from having a slight loathing for anything English speaking they seem to have a bigger dislike for Americans.

Any way we continue. He asks if I can speak a little Italian which I respond accordingly in Italian. He then proceeds to laugh. I would say that my fluster levels have clearly reached their peak as a young chap in the queue behind me seems to be coming to my defence and helps me.

Either way grumpy till man has just taken all 6 bottles of my water away from me. With the help of the young pup I have determined that they were on some sort of BOGOF offer. Instead of charging me for what I bought he just took them away. At this point I find I’ve reverted to Spanish bizarrely and am swearing profusely. This will confuse El bastardo!!!!

The Raptors do not help either. They’re to busy being cute and getting their faces pinched in every direction and revelling in further compliments on their blue eyes and blond hair.

Anyway off home we go once I’ve slumped over the steering wheel for a quick couple of minutes.

Once I’ve reversed into the garage (literally.. again) I can breathe a sigh of relief and know that my beloved will be home shortly.

And boy does he make an entrance. This is something else I will let him tell you about but for the purpose of my amusement I will detail it briefly here.

You see Dave forgot his phone. Left it in his mates car. Without said phone he has no way of letting me know when I need to open the gate at the top of the drive as our intercom is also up the spout.

As much as I try and keep an eye out, I also need to prep for dinner. Anyway 5 minutes after Dave is usually home I look out, see the gates open and hear a car out back. Usually Dave’s lift leaves him at the top of the drive so I go to our back balcony to have a nose.

Anyway what I see is a little Dave Large covered in mud up to his ankles. Turns out he had to trek through the field next to our apartment as there was no other way of getting in. Mid way down the field our English neighbour pulls into the drive. The evening ended with my man washing his shoes in the Bum sink.

As always my man made me laugh. This time at his expense and not mine.

My washing has been returned all nice and fresh so the posh pants are back on meaning all testicles will be held safely in place for the next 6 days.

At attempt to bounce my phone across the tiled floor has been made. Luckily only minimal damage has been sustained.

Now the rain has stopped we’ve discovered that Mount Etna is visible from our back Balcony. In my excitement yesterday I messaged Dave. “If she blows we’re going to get such a good view”. Needless to say Dave was home early yesterday with deck chair and beer in hand expecting some sort of free show. Imagine his disappointment when all he could see was a smoking volcano.

Our internet chap is back today. Already it’s been delayed by 3 hours. I really need to get used to this. Hopefully by the time I write again we’ll have a fully functioning internet service.

Benji is being eaten alive by a local mosquito. Bless him. He loved it last night when we killed the little pest (mosquito not Harry) and had blood splattered all up the Magnolia wall. I completely forgot about the blood squishing. Benji was happy although “look at all my Blood, what was he going to do with it all?” Was his first thought.

Anyway, Harry is begging for me to lift him up to peek out the spy hole in the door.

Benji has jobs to do to make up for trying to make my phone bounce.

It’s the weekend tomorrow and largey finishes today at 2.45. Happy days.

Ciao for now peeps.


Vengo D’Inglaterra.

I don’t know where to start. Where do you go after you find out that your eyes are really loud and shouty?

So, life continues for us home bods living it Large in Sicily. I use the term Large loosely as we’ve been generally house bound the last couple of days thanks to some proper rain.

Thankfully supermarkets are covered so we can stay dry but I’m bored of shopping. I don’t think the boys are falling for my high pitch screech exclaiming that “it’ll be exciting” anymore either. Damn.

We had a quick and interesting run to the mall earlier. I only needed an ATM but it turns out that just because there’s a bank up the road doesn’t mean there’s a way of getting cash out of it. At least there isn’t any way if you don’t want to talk to a person.

Thanks to Google Maps I found an ATM 14 minutes away. In the car….. at a mall…. The shouty levels increased with pleas to be quiet as Mummy had to concentrate.

We had to rush as a lovely lady was coming to collect my laundry at 10.30am. I should explain that as of yet I haven’t got a washing machine in my fully furnished apartment and I gave Dave the last of my cash thinking it would be ok.

Turns out that my Bluetooth connection gets all funny when I receive an incoming call. Sat nag lady got cut short in her prime and decided that she didn’t want to talk to any more. I was flying solo. As I’m writing this you’ll be pleased to note. We didn’t die.

I still need to go to the store to get dinner. Bugger!

I nearly got sold a mobile phone. Ridiculously most Italian words previously learnt left my body and all I could say, luckily in Italian, was I’m from England! It’s people like me that give English people a bad rap. Next thing you know I’ll be saying “meo no speako Italiano guvnoro”.

The laundry has gone to be taken care of by a lovely American lady. This means that in 2 days Dave can have good “posh pants” back for work and not the sort that act merely as an obstacle for free roaming testicles whose sole purpose it is to be free or get squashed between said lose pants and your though causing, so I’m told, crippling pain.

Apparently my washing is going to be returned smelling of wild Orchid. Better than the state they went in.

All this domesticity is tiring me out.

I ought to mention that the flappy bumper of the hire car Dave alluded to has been fixed. Turns out all it needed was a good push into a garage wall whilst reversing into the garage. Perfecto! No need for bluetac.

What we do need is another hire car from Sunday. Our Mini moo is still parked in good ole Blighty. At this rate we’ll be back before she leaves. I’m really glad I packed it full to the brim with useless stuff we won’t need.

Anyway, I either need a nap or to go to the store to buy dinner so best crack on as one of those most definitely has to happen before Dave gets home in two hours.

Ciao for now peeps.



Lets go back in time……Flight Day

It’s about 7.30am, just about awake enough to start thinking about packing. Go Pro check, Camera check, laptop check, tablets check, chargers check, pants check.  Cool that’s my packing done. I’m starting to feel a bit smug with myself now, Lee hasn’t even started to pack all our clothes yet and I’m already finished.

I’m ordered out the house to go and get the Macky D’s Breakfast, you see Lee thought it would be a good idea to have a works leaving do the night before we fly out.  To be fair she’s looking in good shape, though she wasn’t the one awake all night listening to impressions of Miss Piggy.

Sat on the plane looking at betfair.com  I can see the other half looking over with a disapproving shake of the head.  How the hell did she know I was on Betfair– think the old geezer sat next to me has shopped me in.  Probably cos I should have turned on flight mode about 20 minutes ago and he’s worried the plane might drop out of the sky when I press the cash out button.  I keep hearing an annoying voice in the distance, “something about a car”  I put on my noise cancelling headphones just to drown it out.

Arrived in Sicily.  I jump on my phone to get the deal of the century for hire cars, only it seems there are no automatic cars left…I can hear Lee shouting at me through her eyes. It’s deafening, I can no longer hear myself think anything other than “oh f##k”.

We enquire at one rental desk.  With the insurance it costs about the same as a 3 bed house back in Reading.  Without insurance I have to leave about 19 credit cards and one of my kids to cover the excess.   I ponder the option but decide on taking a taxi.

The Taxi driver is talking about Malta for some reason….Well until Lee points out he’s asking where in Motta do we need to go…I’m gonna have issues with the language me thinks. Taxi fare costs about the same as a 3 bed house back in Reading.

Arrived at Norman Bates Hotel. The taxi driver never knew there was a hotel here in all the years he’s been driving.  Hoping to make it to the morning alive.  To be fair it seems ok once we get to the room.  Got up for breakfast.  Unsure if what’s on show is plastic or real. Checked out and walked to our new apartment with luggage in tow.  Nothing better than lugging 50 kilos of pants up hill in 30 degree heat.

Our new apartment is really nice, (and clean), better than our house back home.  Its magnolia, I say goodbye to  the deposit, Kids are gonna wreck this place.   I’m replaying “You talking to me” in my head as Robert De Nero shows us around.

Pick up car from the airport – Rental guy tries to scam me for extra insurance.  Didn’t fall for it.  Checked car over, looks good.  Drive down motorway, seems the bumper is trying to escape. Closer inspection shows its held on by bluetack.  Dam Rental guy has got me MOFO!  Note to buy some araldite before returning the car.

Impressed with Lee’s driving, seems to fit in well in Sicily. It appears that Stop, Give Way and Speed Limit signs are for decoration.  There are more potholes than actual tarmac.

Food has been good, had pasta, pasta and pasta.  It’s the only Italian word I know.   Anyway just off for a 45 mile jog whilst I run off the carbs.



It takes two to blog in Sicily.

As you’re all aware, I have entitled my blog A Large Move to Sicily because my family and I have recently relocated to Sicily. Whilst in bed last night communicating (it’s not quite 7 days yet if you know what I mean) with Dave we came up with an interesting idea.

Moving forward Dave and I are going to take it in turns to write this blog. This way you get to have a “His and Hers” perspective of our move. We’ll disagree a lot probably but please rest assured mine will be right.

I have to admit I did get very excited. (Still not 7 days, calm down!) You see as much as I know I’m hilarious, Dave has a tendency to be as funny as Kieran Poolman on an ice skating rink which let me tell you is very funny. (Imagine a donkey on an ice rink with each leg flailing in different directions).

I’m pretty sure you’ve all heard enough of me now so I shall be letting His Largeness take control of the next blog and see what he can come up with. Apparently he’s already been thinking of ideas and writing notes.

Ciao for now peeps and over to you Dave. Well when he’s home.


Monday Sicilian style

As I write this, there has been the terrible atrocity on Las Vegas, my heart and thoughts go out to anyone involved in one way or another. 😦

For us Larges it is day something or other and what could be deemed as our first day of normality.

I say normality when we’re involved, normality needs to be interpreted as you see fit.

After I showered in Bubble bath and sprayed Vag freshner on my arm pits (seems I made a bit of a translation error), Dave got driven to work safely by myself and never once lost his breath.

I have decided that despite my previously stating that I could never be an aggressive driver, turns out my style of driving is distinctly Sicilian and suits me.

It seems the speed limit boards are actually displaying the minimum speed limit as I don’t think I’ve seen anyone stick to them. You drive on which ever side of the road you fancy whenever the need takes you. And you can change course at a minutes notice if you so choose. I tried it a couple of times and it worked out perfectly.

The boys and I have ventured into 3 shops. In each someone has tried to talk to me. I had the usually frozen rabbit in headlights stare for each occasion and other than the last one coped very well.

Store one – a little old lady who in a previous life was 7 foot doesn’t like that now she’s knee high to Yoda and can’t reach her bread. The Raptors had their faces squished in all directions as of she was kneading 10 year old bread dough. Or according to Benji “I feel like I’ve just had my face scratched by a cat”.

Store two – which handle did I need to go into my broom head? Turns out that unlike the UK you can’t buy said broom head with said handle together, no it has to be separate to cause maximum confusion.

Store 3 – All went really well right up until the checkout. Apparently some people go out of their way to cause confusion to English speaking Muppets. I mean how the heck did I know that the man was trying to tell me I had pencils left in my trolley or did I have an Auchan loyalty card. This time I pulled the No Capisco stunt.

I didn’t need to collect Dave, he has a friend now. He waited till I pulled the car out of the garage to let me know. He also has a night out on Thursday, seems one of us has integrated well.

The guy came to install the internet. He left half an hour later. I’m not living in a top floor apartment so there are issues. He’ll be back… I’m hoping. Either that or I have to move to a top floor apartment.

It’s raining. Not a little bit either. This is the proper stuff. I like the rain although I’ve firmly barred all doors and windows to ensure no tiny flying vampires also known as Mosquitoes come in to suck more of my blood. One already gave it his best shot earlier and I have a lovely lump on my jaw.

The boys have found their tablets to play on. They have done some exercises and tried to learn some Italian. They’ve even done some drawing.

All in all I loved today and wouldn’t change it for the world. Thank you Sicilia.

It’s bath time for the Raptors so I best go as the longer I delay the longer they have to visit the excuses bank and come up with why they shouldn’t have a bath.

Love to you all.



The Larges have arrived!

We are finally here, we’ve taken possession of our new apartment. Boy how busy have we been though.

After landing we spent 20 minutes trying to decide Taxi or hire car? You see my special Mr Large hadn’t managed to book one before we took off hence the quandary we found ourselves in.

It’s ok though because we found a nice taxi driver in the end to take us on the longest and most expensive 25 minute taxi ride ever.

I pointed out to him that this was going to make the blog!!!!

We got to the hotel about 9.30pm ready for a jolly good kip. Trouble is my little Raptors needing feeding. I’m sorry to say that I fed them coke (liquid form) and crisps.

This morning we woke fairly early, or I did meaning everyone else had to. We had a breakfast of cheese and empty Croissants then off we went to sweat like a camels arse and meet Roberto 2 finally and his Pappa to get our keys.

Dave is convinced that Pappa Roberto looked like Robert Di Nero so he’s clearly had sun stroke at this point and was hallucinating.

The apartment exceeds our expectations and I’m so happy with it. Dave has already started carving out his butt groove in the sofa and the boys have discovered that the place echoes.

We’ve had a trip back to the airport to collect our hybrid vehicle that twice now I’ve left running after I’ve got out because I can’t hear the damn thing.

The kids have done nothing but moan they’re hungry. Dave has just moaned that I’m tutting an awful lot and we’ve discovered that my driving style suits the Sicilian way. It took 10 minutes for Dave to get enough breath back into his body to function.

We’ve managed to last 12 hours without a TV although if it wasn’t for Dave pointing out we have no internet I would have had one here now.

We’ve found the local shopping centre along with everyone else on the Island. It is clearly the place to go at 4pm on a Sunday. The Polizia like hanging out there too.

Ikea Catania is something else and not somewhere I want to go back to in a hurry. People even take their dogs because let’s face it every dog loves to go to Ikea on a hot Sunday afternoon. Clearly as much as the men that have been took along to hold said rat on a lead or fancy handbag.

Our first meal had been cooked without the aid of a smoke detector. The boys loved their undercooked Pasta as much as Hubster loved his overcooked Ravioli.

6 Centipedes have been kicked out along with one very dead Cockroach.

We have to be up early tomorrow to take Pappa D to his first day at work. I don’t think he’s to nervous but that’s probably because he knows if he gets there it means he’s survived my driving.

Well I best get washing up. Turns out this retired lark isn’t the holiday I had originally envisaged and the expectations have been clearly outlined.

Ciao for now peeps.

See you tomorrow.

Arrivederci from Wayne’s World

I’m typing this on my way to the airport. This of course means that give it half an hour and I’ll be in a lay-by viewing my Double Sausage and Egg McMuffin again.

Last night was my leaving do with work, I managed to be home by 11pm and only managed to lose 5 litres of water that had leaked out of my eye sockets.

Today already feels like a very long day and trust me after tomorrow I will be having a jolly good sit down. Which reminds me, I forgot to pack the tea bags.

Although my limp has somewhat subsided, I am still plastered on my left arm. I can guarantee by the end of today someone will want to know what it is I’ve got strapped to my arm. As long as they only ask I’ll be fine but if someone feels the need to waive rubber gloves at me and take a scoop of KY, this move is off!

We still haven’t booked a car at the other end. Dave can’t decide and therefore I’ve been asked to embrace my impulsive side. Let’s just see what happens when we get there. I can tell you what will happen. We’ll end up spending more on something that looks like it was in the Beverly Hillbillies.

Harry is still excited that we’re going on holiday. Bless his little cotton socks, he’s going to be so disappointed soon. That said he’s asked if he’s going to school tomorrow. I’m not sure if he thinks we’ve packed 4 cases and run around shouting a lot just for a 24 hour break and he’ll be back at school Monday or whether he genuinely realises whats happening but because it’s meant to be sunny means we’re on holiday.

Oh crickey now we’re sat in traffic. I can’t do traffic. What I could do with is a little sleepy bo nap or even still a fry up and a pint of Coke.

Not long now, we’re currently on the M25. Both the Raptors are asleep. Dave has smiled. And the vehicle is deathly silent other than an annoying cough the driver has. What’s the betting we get that in 24 hours.

Oo it’s our turn off so I shall bid thee arrivederci for the time being. Catch you in Sicily.



Two little days left – No Panic……

Hello, me again. The Nutty one that rambles on and on about how she’s moving to a foreign country for 18 months and is likely to forget to pack her husbands pants.

2 days. That’s all we have left now. I’ve cleaned my drawers out. (Remember keep it clean) Given away anything that I don’t need including my floppy phallic wrist rest and recycled more paper than I thought possible. I swear my paperless desk is the sole reason for deforestation.

I was given a Pizza Party lunch at work however I don’t think my mutterings truly conveyed how grateful I am to them all for their gifts etc. For all they’ve done for me over the last however long. I have made some truly wonderful friends during my time there.

Normally, being stuck for words is not something that’s an issue for me as anyone I know can agree. Being put on the spot though I suddenly discover I have amnesia and can’t remember anything since January 2016 other than a few things that I will not go into on this post.

More gifts today. More alcohol. (Raspberry Vodka), an apron (See featured picture) socks. I was also give a lovely necklace. We had to go to the Pub of course because we need to celebrate my last Thursday.

Goodbyes have picked up speed today and tomorrow I have my final leaving do at work. The chances are that I may not post anything tomorrow. If I do it should be interesting and will mainly be me telling you all how much I love you. Clearly I only show people affection when I’m drunk as I recently told mates from work I loved them and instantly they questioned how sober I was.

Dave’s new employer hasn’t received all the documentation they should have meaning that for the next 18 months we could be on holiday. Well certainly a couple of weeks. As you may have now realised, this also means that Dave and I will have to communicate during the day as well as the evening.

We’re back to not taking the Xbox again. I never thought there would be a day when I actually say to my beloved that he needs to play Xbox. I don’t mind talking to Dave please don’t think that it’s something I’m allergic to and I’m pretty sure we’ll have plenty to discuss.

What do you talk to your significant others about when they have hearing issues. His hearing issue being that he can’t hear anything that comes out of my mouth. He generally get’s lucky when I ask him to recite what important piece of rubbish I’ve just told him.

Men, you may want to close your ears for the next bit….

Ladies, hands up who’s been given the Contraceptive implant? cause I got mine yesterday. What a palaver. Firstly, I was given the wrong advice by a previous Dr, who in the process failed to give me a prescription for my implant. I turn up on the day only to be told I have to go and get said implant and bring it back within 1/2 an hour. Lovely you say. Not so as on the way I bloody twisted my ankle. Limping all the way there and back, somehow within my allotted time.

I had to sign a minor surgical procedure waiver. Have two local anesthetic injections in my arm (Thanks to my fat arms) followed by Jaws ripping my arm to shreds to fit a 4cm piece of plastic into it. Following this procedure, I’m asked if I want to feel said implant. Errrr no thanks, however I would like to feel you stopping the blood pumping out of me as if some maniac has cut me up like a piece of meat.

Three stitches, one plaster, one wad of gauze and lots of medical tape later, I’m told we’re all done. No shit Sherlock I’m about to pass out. Anyway, to anyone that may have witnessed me rushing out of the surgery to get back to aforementioned pizza lunch with my gammy limp looking somewhat pale yet sweating like a Camels arse, I do apologise.

I’ve told Mr Large that in 7 days he better be putting out.

Men you can start listening now….

So, the Raptors are still looking forward to our holiday.

Mini Moo is due to be picked up sometime this year. She’s all ready to be packed out with toys and the Ironing that I’ve still not managed to do. The bags for life have been avoided as thanks to my special friend Mr Tumbly dryer, I’ve been washing things and drying them within the same day.

I’ve ordered Kieran’s first grocery shop so he most definitely has no excuse should he starve to death.

I can’t believe how close move day is. Is it me or has it come round so quick? I don’t think 4 months would have been enough time to do everything so we’ve done flipping well. The gas and electricity have been turned on at our new apartment. The internet should also be ready for Sunday and I’ve been reliably informed that the furniture is in and the deposit/first months rent have also been received.

The weather has become rubbish as predicted and BA have had a check in failure at Gatwick. Marvelous. Just Marvelous.

So to summarise:
Dave hasn’t got a job to go into at present
I’ve got a limpy walk and a gammy arm that I can guarantee will cause issues at Security
The flight will be delayed if it takes off at all
The Car is going on a tour of Europe with some stranger
The kids don’t know we’re moving
I’ve got clean drawers
Dave and I have communication issues
Dave is going to miss his Xbox
I’m going to be off my face on Raspberry vodka and wine

Anyway, on that note, I need to go pack a few suitcases. I think I’ve officially run out of time!

Ciao for now my peeps. Hopefully I’ll get chance to post when we camp in Gatwick for 3 days.




5 Days….

My last working Monday in a while. It’s gone in a flash thanks to 1 leaving lunch. (Thanks Martin). Lots to do, people to see, contracts to put in place. There’s never enough time.

It’s really here. There are no more weeks left, we’re into days left. No more weekends to remember the pants. It has to be done now. Dr’s appointments to cram in. Grocery shopping to do for my first born to ensure he doesn’t starve, and for those of you that know Kieran you’ll know that this is a real possibility should there be no crisps or cheese in the house.

Baby Raptor has posed a rather interesting question and it’s thrown us all into a quandary – How do you laugh in Italian? OMG, I knew I was missing something whilst practicing my Italian with Memrise and Duolingo.

Talking of which, seriously, should you want to learn a new language before your next holibob you should try these out. Both have proved themselves invaluable.



That’s enough plugging anyway. (Sorry)

I’ve still not caught up on Game of Thrones. How many episodes are there? I’m only on episode three of Series 5, It’s never going to happen. I have people at work biting their tongues daily in an attempt not to spoil anything for me that BBC radio one hasn’t already.

Dave’s forgotten about the tax issue for now – now it’s Car insurance and shipping our car out. I think I mentioned this previously and although we’ve confirmed Mini Moo is going on holiday, we haven’t been able to decide whether she’ll get a nice new Italian number plate. Something I don’t think we have to do for a little while if we can prove we won’t be there permanently.

I’m fully planning on driving her down a few steps in an attempt to re-create The Italian job. Lets face it with my driving this is highly likely so we’ll just go along with it being planned. I’ve heard that I need to be rather a forceful driver. They’ve got to be kidding. I can’t even be forceful with the lid of a Jam Jar let alone seasoned Italian drivers.

Talking about car insurance, it appears that most insurance companies are geared up for people moving to Spain. I’m pretty sure they move to Italy also. Us Brits seem to get everywhere these days.

The weather it seems is playing up in Catania, just as I said it would. Flights were diverted away from the airport yesterday due to the horrendous thunder storms. I feel I need to send an apology letter ahead of us.

Chaos is tiring me out. I’ve even just had to give Largey an elbow to the arm. I told him it was an accident. Whether it was or not is besides the point. Other than a quick profanity out of his normally clean Cockney mouth, he’s shut up. Job done!

He’s faffing with international payments now. Apparently my IBAN is not valid. Rude man!!!!

I have no idea what I’m doing. What with IBANs, swift Bics and SEPAs. I’m sending a pigeon with some silver coins. It’s going to be the quickest option. Then maybe my dickey IBAN will sort itself out.

Anyway Pumpkin hour is fast approaching and I need to re-fuel. Wine did not help other than anger my pounding head.

Ciao for now my peeps. I need to go an swear to Largey a bit more.