Well almost, when you step back, look at a picture from afar, it’s amazing isn’t it how much clearer it becomes. Unless of course you’re as blind as a bat and in complete denial. I can’t cater to those people in this sentence though so don’t moan at me. You’ll just have to follow along.

I’m not going to lie, the situation with the UK schools has sent me a little crazy. I was even spouting sentences that involved the words “freedom of Information request” “appeal” and “idiot”. Then I had a moment of clarity, posted on Facebook and pulled the one child I thought was in the school that was best, out, and put him in a school that looked bad but seems to be far better.

See lunacy.

I’ve got at least 6 people who I need to meet up with prior to them starting in September. All appear to be lovely ladies with children in the same year group as my boys. I’m also hoping that Harry’s best friends Mum will meet me so we can get in that Prosecco quota. I can’t do this alone… (I was going to say without Prosecco and realised that just made me sound like a raging alcoholic)

The Vet has been booked in France. All done very smoothly via Facebook too. This book of Face is turning out to be most useful.

Eurotunnel booked. I’m still anxious about the dog crossing onto UK soil but by that point I will have seen three vets, 2 Italian and 1 French, so unless the dog lets me down and starts frothing at the mouth and barking into thin air at the last-minute, there should be no reason for this to be an issue. And to be honest this is me on a normal day and they keep letting me through.

All hotels have been booked. I should state that they’ve been booked by us and I don’t just mean that I left it so long they’ve all been booked by normal people who have no issues booking hotels. All establishments have street viewed, trip advised, viewed again and Googlified. I think I’ve even tried to stalk them on Faceybook too. Admit it that’s where all good stalking begins.

I would like to say though for those of you now worrying at my sense of privacy, I would of course not check anyones profile out secretly. I hope you all understand. Although I will point out that there was one time a few years ago that I needed to stalk an ex girlfriend of my brother only to accidentally friend request her. Silly cow bag accepted straight away so it got pretty embarrassing when I immediately had to un-friend her. Eeeek! I’m surprised she did though if I’m honest. I think it really annoyed her years previously when I told her the dog had vomited after she’d kissed it. In my defense, how the feck did I know she was going to full on lip kiss the dog in front of everyone. We all know that a dog licks their own arse which should be reason enough not to kiss it. But no, this one had to get annoyed because it was sick prior to her advances.

Moving swiftly on and back to the subject in hand, all that’s left are the last-minute things. Get suitcases delivered. Dog passports and last minute treatments. I’m quite relaxed about it now. I could of course just be fibbing and pooping my pants at the mere thought of it all. Or completely delusional and missing half my list.

It’s our Benji’s birthday today and of course that means I should have baked a cake, instead I’ve got said birthday child to help me. I sold it as a birthday treat. In reality I figure that any lumps can then be blamed on the innocent 8-year-old. More pressing is that the oven hates me at the moment. Not only does it burn the food I put in it,  (Again not my fault at all) but it seems to blow all fuses in the apartment during important football games thus killing the internet. I was not popular. If I can therefore bake during the day all will be good and allow plenty of time for me to leave the country.

To keep some normality to life, we’ve been trying to search out all the nice beaches. Sunday we went to one that although the sea was lovely, everyone else thought so too and not being a beach lover, imagine my reaction to walking onto Sicily’s smallest beach and sitting like canned sardines. Harry covered in Ant bites. All kinds of balls being thrust in your direction. Seriously people Speedo’s should be banned. I do not need to see what you’ve got stored in your pack lunch.

We found another beach Monday. Well Monday night in the dark. Dave gets these ideas but sometimes doubts himself so what should have been said earlier escapes from his mouth 2 hours after the ideal time. It was fun though to hear him driving in the dark saying, “I didn’t realise how low the sun was”. Apparently at 8.30pm you should expect it to be as bright as at 12.30? We now need to go back to see if it’s as nice as we thought.

I shall leave it here for now. I have a 6-year-old that, so I’m told, is close to death and he needs the A.C on. So that you can picture his dying moments, he’s dressed in his tracksuit bottoms, rolling around on the floor similar to Neymar, wrapped in a blanket. I’m not sure he’s suited to wake up times prior to 8.30 or brothers shouting “It’s my birthday” as the alarm call. I’m also not sure he’s impressed that he didn’t get anything for his brother’s birthday.

Anyhoo, Ciao for now peeps.

P.s COME ON ENGLAND… IT’s COMING HOME!!!!!!

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